I couldn't work. Couldn't sleep. Couldn't eat. I cried. I cried because I never knew Boston would be targeted like this. I cried for people I knew, people I didn't knew, I cried for Boston.
I was glad people were checking in on me. I was glad people I knew were safe. A boy who was from my hometown, died. An international graduate student from China who was attending my university died. A student from my university is in stable condition and was friends with the graduate student.
Do you know - on my street people get shot all the time. Drugs. Gangs. Whatever the reason, it's stupid.
For the first time in my life, I feel unsafe.
For the first time in my life, I actually feel unsafe in Boston.
But because I have friends and people who care. I know that everyone will pull together. I know it might be a ridiculous time to apply my theories to the situation but I think it's important to rationalize why I am facing so much trauma:
- Chemistry: We talked about bombs and the slow reaction of gases that cause a lot more destruction (expansion of gases). The bombs were apparently pressure cookers and filled with other metals like nails to increase damage. Imagine removing nails from a young child's skin.
- Psychology: We still don't know who did this yet label it a terrorist attack, I think the fact that there is no motive or because it was undiscriminatory violence to kill makes it scary.
- Politics and Anthropology: A Saudi student was questioned and cleared but no terrorist organization would come up to claim responsibility, once we put together the evidence we can trace back the sources that created the bombs. But is it an international or domestic organization? Was it a crazy individual or an organized attempt? We had another bomb threat in my university building because of a package and had to be evacuated yesterday. We think of it like 9/11 but it could have been more catastrophic. http://www.cnn.com/2013/04/17/us/boston-blasts/index.html
We try to pull together in the classes but it was still a quiet day. There is a struggle to return to normalcy but I know that this experience will go into the textbooks and will become a part of our lives. I hope that we will become stronger for the next marathon. I will not be in the country if I choose to go to Japan, but, I think in the time that I am away, I will get to see a brighter and better city when I come back.
I thank the men, women, and everyone who makes Boston an amazing place. I grew up here. I was born here. I love you, Dear Beloved Boston.